“Let it be known! Mix oil with an extract of wood ash in water until it reaches an even and frothy consistency. This mixture should be used to improve cleanliness and prevent disease.”
— Sapa, August 403

“Do not eat the soap!”
— Sapa, March 566

Anyone with a wiki account can edit this page. In theory it is meant for testing wiki syntax, but usually it's used for game-related jokes instead. Feel free to post whatever.

• Bread/Butter
• Jamie Holton/All the demons, ever: Staying at the Bexgate Hellton
• Adalli/Theodore: Mr. Darling, what happens on the Business Trip stays on the Business Trip
• Adalli / Thomas / Ellis Ransom: Very, very single and ready to mingle
• Tabby/Seth - Divine Law

• Tabby/God - The Nativity
• Phmslt/Thrl - demon bros / Luttrell Psalter
• St Renagi/Demons - Come on in I guess (name suggestion: My Only Safe Haven)
• Rena/Tabby - The art of love
• Theodore/Phmslt - Deal me in

• Renagi/Renatana/Manatana - Renatana
• Tabby/Sebastian - Sibling rivalry (additional name suggestion: Seeing Double)
• Rebecca Marlowe/January Baxter - (name as yet undecided) (Rejected names: House call at the Town Planning Boudoir) (Name suggestion: Dahria-squared)
• Thdr/Brod - Hell Bakery (alt suggestion; Hell's Kitchen)
• Renal Sores x Urinal Swimming

• Manatana/Pfmsltr - A match made in Hell-van.
• God/Bread - For They are Risen.
• Rena/Renagi/Renatana - Rena-ception
• God/Pfmsltr - Heaven and Hell
• Adalli/Pfmsltr - The Fated Fic

• Heaven/Hell - Ultimate Enemies to Lovers
• Adalli / Thomas / Ellis Ransom / Adonna: Widows' Club
• Wren/Pfmsltr - Will you be my witch?
• Manatana/Banakafalata - Enemies to Lovers 2: Electric Boogaloo (alt; Banakafanatana)
• Alex/Manatana - Explosive Passion/What happens at Manatana's Stele stays at Manatana's Stele

• Adalli/Uriel - Healing Powers
• Seth/Thdr - (something chess related, open to suggestions) Castling
• Pns/Pfmsltr - Pnsltr
• Theodore/January Baxter - Upper Management (how has this not got on the playground yet)
• Rena/Adalli - Art Commission

• Tabby/Supreme Commissioner Conviction - Blue's Clues
• Tabby/Mr Conviction - True Blues
• Mr Conviction/The Playground - You Know What You Did
• Blue Mr Conviction/Red Mr Conviction - Conviction
• Thomas/Red Mr Conviction - Seeing Red

• Tabby/The Saints - Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
• Theodore/Biscuits - Burnt Goods
• Rena/Masked Man - The Art of War (alt; Rena/Chiseler - Rizzler)
• Tabby/Supreme Commissioner Conviction - “Scary people are hot” (alt; Tabby/SCC - “Number one problematic ship”)
• Tabby/Diver - Dive into me

• Oleander Green/Aster Grey - The Aroma(n)tic flag
• Thomas/Valentine - The Eliza Seton fanclub (alt; rivals to lovers)
• Rena/Valentine - Artist on Artist Violence (alt; Valentine Renaldi, alt-alt; Valentine's Reina)
• Amnity/Valentine - EVEN MORE enemies to lovers
• Amnity/Sincerity - And they were roommates

• Rena/Uriel/Roland/Thomas/Jamie/Masked Man/Chiseler/Ellis/Oleander/Seth/Valentine/??? - Rena's Morally Questionable Older Men
• Amnity/Gerard Lex - bookbinding?
• Amnity/Shriver - Tailor Training, Witch Government
• Eliza Seton/Sarah Nafaro - Corpse Brides
• Amnity/Manatana - Amnitana

• Seth/Amnity - totally innocent bystanders/Van buddies
• Ague Vitis/Jamie Holton - Pastoral Care
• Mr Discord/Mr Conviction - Dokuwi-kings (alt; Tricksy Fellows)
• Sapa/Tslt - that scene in Black Books where the guy goes “Filthy”. That's the ship name
• Sapa/Pfmsltr - Do eat the soap!

• Thrl/Manatana - Secret best friends/lovers in disguise
• Amnity/Josephine - What if…?
• Theodore/David Sawnes (but a platonic business relationship)
• Rena/the sky - All the colours of the wind, so long as it's black
• Amnity/David/Josephine - Home-maker

• Seth/Adalli - Partners in deicide
• Tabby/Adalli - Because Daniel said it's allowed now (title suggestion: It's not love, just politics)
• Tabby/River Adams - Trade-ships in the night
• Rena/The Pie - Enemies to Lovers Part. ??? (alt; hole-y sanctity)
• Tabby/Jamie - Montagues and Capu-Heretics

• River/Adalli - This love is implausibly deniable
• River/Tabby - Love is a business
• Theodore/Valentine - Burning Desires
• Josephine/Chizzler - Jizzler
• Roland/Oleander - Roleander

• Thdr’s Pie/Seth’s cake/Brod’s bread - the Whol(meal)y Trinity
• Adalli/Adonna - The First Apocrypha
• Adonna/God - The bot said so.
• ConvictionShipGenBot/God - Divine Intervention
• Abius/ConvictionShipGenBot - God's Chosen One

• A Waiter/Rena - Waiting On You
• A Waiter/River Adams - The Main Characters
• Tabby/Isamu - The beginning of eternity / Mutual relief
• Sincerity/Jamie - The Teaching of the Scripture
• Amnity/Thrl - The Devil wears Prada

• Mack Flores/Rena Sawnes - Macarena Fluorescence
• Mack/Fasada - Am I doing this right?
• Sapa/Manatana - All Clean and Orderly

As a little pre-game game, how may of the player characters do you think are witches at game start?

• Everyone who works as a Pastor. Hiding in plain sight. [Edit: Wow I was so on the money for this one.]
• ████████ None. There are no witches and no demons in Bexgate. ◉ ████████
• Adonna Carrel (we see you) [“Slander, defamation, no evidence to these claims!” - Roland Carrel probably]

• Thdr Thstltht (he made a deal with a demon)
• Thomas (said “thank you” to a demon twice and was holding a butterfly) (he gets sussier by the week) NOW HIS THING IS RED
• The Pilgrims (idk something seems shifty)
• The Demons (no particular reason)
• Adalli (Bread? … Yes) (Update: can't be sus. He told us not to worry about it) (Update again: he just called himself the “sussiest baka”, so probably not to be trusted)
• ZOMBIE Thdr Thstltht (he made a deal with a demon then came back from Hell… twice.)
• Wales (all demons are welsh now apparently)
• ◉ ████████ ◉ ████████ ◉
• France.
• Giancarlo Musco (for killing off all of Konstantine's NPCs)
• Everyone at the board games social (we played Among Us)
• Tabby (surely not…..)
• Seth Fuckin Marlowe™️
• Rena (keeps talking about “Mail for Windows”, whatever that is…)
• Chizzler
• Tslt. He knows what he did.
• Mr Conviction
• gm konstantine's gerbil (sussy) (HIS NAME WAS SZÖSZI)

The town of Bexgate was united in tears this week as we said goodbye to all of our onions, in the form of the enormous pyre used to dispose of them. The local branch of the Commission declined to offer an explanation for their confiscation, but it was doubtless something important.

So apparently designing demon names to be awkward to pronounce means people get them wrong a lot. Who'd have guessed? Anyway, here's some of the errors (I'm probably missing some)

• Pfmsltr
  • Puffles
  • Phmslt
  • Whatever gibberish Theodore ended up saying (I resent that)
  • Pfmslrt
  • Pfmslter
  • the puffer guy
  • Banakafalata
• Thrl
  • I don't actually recall any errors with this one. Good job.
  • Fran.
  • Farrel
  • Thrll
  • Tslt
• Slzlth
  • Slzlf (this one was a GM, repeatedly)
  • Sizzles
• Pns
  • Ponies
  • Penis
  • Puns
  • Panessa
• Rsmmxn
  • Hasn't really come up enough for there to be many mistakes, but I'm sure there would be.
  • Ellis Ransom
• Tslt
  • None yet!
  • The Catgirl
  • Salt
• Thdr Thstltht
  • Theodore Thistlethwaite
• Thdr
  • Thdr Thstltht
• Banakafalata
  • Bananasalada
  • Bananarama
  • Bana
  • Pannacotta
  • Taramasalata
  • Panettone
  • Chicken Tikka Masala

Who the hell are all these additional demons? - A concerned player

Friends :))) - A GM

Whoever added this, thank you. I've edited it to give it the proper weight it deserves.

She nods

She looks him in the eye.

(Sent from Mail for Windows)

'Fasada would totally give anyone permission to unilaterally murder Seth.' 'Rare Fasada W'
— St.s Andrew and Luke, 2023, Hilary Week 7

“/j is happy meme time.”
— St. Luke, 2023, Hilary Week 7

“Cronch.”
— St. Konstantine, 2023, Hilary Week 7

Let it be known! “I'm not sure whether the bot permission restriction worked and just wasn't in place when the previous messages were sent, or whether it just hasn't worked, but in either case, consider it a rule that the bot stays in bot jail.”
— Discord God, 2023, Hilary Week 6

“I feel like NPC deaths feel quite collaborative.”
— St. Dahria, 2023, Hilary Week 4

“Citrus code is also a heresy now.”
— St. Konstantine, 2023, Hilary Week 4

“Disclaimer, Conviction is Confiction.”
— St. Paddy, 2023, Hilary Week 4

“Those who hurry though life hoping to [redacted] saints will never be able to reach Heaven.”
— St. Konstantine, 2023, Hilary Week 3, a clarification

“There are two great rules in conviction that can never be changed. no C*nvictionc*st, and no catgirls.”
— St. Konstantine, 2023, Hilary Week 3

“No it's fine, I needed to be humbled”
— St. Konstantine, 2023, Hilary week 2
This is falsified scripture, intended to slander our saints. Remain vigilant against such lies.

“Tabby is the real masked man.”
— St. Luke, 2023, Hilary Week 2

“France > catgirls > memes > all the other heresies”
— St. Luke, 2023, Hilary Week 2, a clarification

“Memes were banned alongside catgirls.”
— St. Luke, 2023, Hilary Week 1

“It's only sad if you're boring.”
— St. Luke, 2022, Michaelmas Week 8

“If a GM ever quotes scripture and it differs from the form listed on the wiki, it's not an error, it's an alternative translation.”
— St. Andrew, 2022, Michaelmas Week 8

“Turnsheets will be done. Soon.”
— St. Konstantine, 2022, Michaelmas Week 7

“You can just report people to the commission”
— St. Luke, 2022, Michaelmas Week 7

“When in doubt, sin”
— St. Luke, 2022, Michaelmas Week 6

“Bexgate is a little snow-globe in my mind and I am shaking it savagely”
— St. Konstantine, 2022, Michaelmas Week 6

“Opium is a pretty open-and-shut case.”
— Mrk Wllms, 2023, Hilary Week 8

“It's not jesus without Luke.”
— Hrmnn Bnsl, 2023, Hilary Week 8

“I am meta-meta.”
— Hrmnn Bnsl, 2023, Hilary Week 6

“The commission works hard but fangirls work harder.”
— Jsphn Ptn, 2023, Hilary Week 4

“The moment I whipped it out, just… things started happening.”
— Dnll Skth, 2023, Hilary Week 3

“I’ve got a new option for boyfriend material.” “Supreme Commissioner Daddy.”
— Jsphn Ptn and Dnl Ntn, 2023, Hilary Week 3

“You exude naked mole rat energy.”
— Lc Ddy, 2023, Hilary Week 3

“Legend has it, my spirit stands outside Jesus College the moment the clock strikes midnight”
— Dnll Skth, 2023, Hilary Week 3

“It really depends where (on my body) I’m putting it.”
— Jsphn Ptn, 2022, Michaelmas Week 8

“If you don’t understand the inherent eroticism of extreme religion, that’s on you.”
— Jsphn Ptn, 2022, Michaelmas Week 8

“Roland is Adalli’s cuck, confirmed.”
— Dnl Ntn, 2022, Michaelmas Week 8

Pfmsltr - Christ Church
Thrl - Corpus Christi
St Renagi - St Hildas
Ague Vitus - Balliol
Wren - Hertford
God - Jesus
Seth - Brasenose
Rena - Magdalen
Tabby - St Annes
Thdr - St Benets
(The man formerly alive as) Roland - The college formerly known as Linacre
Adalli - Oriel
Oleander - Worcester
Manatana - Exeter
Brod - St Cross
The Commission - All Souls
Adonna - New College
Baru - Univ
Teresa - Queen’s
Abius - Pembroke
Sincerity - LMH
Uriel - Merton
Lucy - Somerville
Amnity - Wadham
Thomas Seton - St Hughs
Dr Rebecca Marlowe - Green Templeton
Jamie Holton - Trinity
Sebastian Marlowe - Teddy Hall
Aster Grey - Nuffield
Gerard Lex - Lincoln
Boris Thackery - Blackfriars
Ellis Ransom - Wolfson

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Track list

1. I'll praise God to you

2. That's what makes you faithful

3. WAP (Wesmarchian Agents Prospering)

4. As long as you love God

5. Dancing Q-1

6. Heaven is a Place on Earth (Under the watchful eye of Their Commission)

Produced by © Commission Records
We have all the records.

Their follow up album had a somewhat different tone.

Track List

1. Hell is a place on Earth

2. God’s plan (is over)

3. Losing my Religion

4. Mr Black Sky

5. East Side Girl

6. Everybody (Demon's Back)

7. I Knew You Were Heretical (when you walked in)

8. You should see me in a K-Room

Produced by © Commission Records
We have slightly fewer records.